Friday, April 13, 2007

Let My Freddy Go!

Dear Faithful Readers,

This post is being relayed by Fred via me. He says that his Mama Carol has disciplined him about his recent posts. Specifically, Mama Carol was annoyed by the posts suggesting that 1) she cannot cook and 2) she should cook for Fred.

Mama Carol has told Fred not to blog anymore until he apologizes for his uncomplementary remarks about the woman who "picks up his poo, cleans his ears, and always keeps the water bowl full."

On my part, I must echo our Freddy's assertion that Carol cannot cook. Trust me. If I didn't cook or otherwise procure food for her, the woman would eat Chinese take-out for every meal.

In any case, Fred would like you and his Mama to know that he is most grievously sorry and he did not mean to offend anyone.

As ever,


Hint Hint, Mama Carol

The Poop Pantry

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Kurt Vonnegut's Daughter's Dog....

has his own page on MySpace.

I'm sure he's very upset about his grandfather's passing.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Pet Food Recall

It makes Fred scared to eat!

(Did you know that Fred knows how to create a hyperlink?)

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Fred Doesn't Want to Get Lost

Chip us, Mama Carol!
Lost Dog Found Four Years Later, 1,100 Miles From Home

LEE'S SUMMIT, Missouri (AP) -- A Boston terrier named Mickey who disappeared four years ago from his suburban Kansas City backyard was found in Montana and reunited with his owners this week.

Cher Jarosz and her daughter Kari Mitchell thought they had lost Mickey forever -- until they received a call from an animal shelter last week 1,100 miles away in Billings, Montana.
A microchip on Mickey helped the Billings Animal Shelter return him. (Watch Mickey's happy homecoming )

"Some lady from the public walked in the back door," said Kristal Ward, office manager at the shelter. "She found the dog running up the street. She tossed him to me, and that's how it started."

Ward said she called Avid, a company that makes microchip identification systems, and was given the name of a veterinary clinic in Lee's Summit, Missouri.

"I called that vet clinic because they were the one that should have a record of that chip," Ward said. "I gave them the chip number, and the woman kind of started screaming.

"She goes, 'Oh my God, is that a Boston terrier? Oh my God, it belongs to Kari Mitchell. She used to work here."'

Ward called Mitchell and confirmed that the dog was Mickey, she said.

After she talked to Mitchell, "Her mother called, and they were just beside themselves," Ward said.

The family said he looks different and doesn't remember his name. His teeth show signs of wear and tear.

Only Mickey knows how he wound up in Montana, and that's fine by Mitchell.

"We're happy to have him home," she told KSHB-TV in Kansas City after Mickey caught a flight home. "I just hope whoever was taking care of him, I hope they were just glad he's home."

Fred is Being Harassed

Fred does not mean this to be a Poison Fred letter, but our new downstairs neighbors are putting Fred over the edge. They have said that Fanny and I make too much noise when we walk (they say "run") through the apartment! Can you believe this? They did not even bother to speak with me and Fanny about this - they just called the landlord. how do they even know it's us? Maybe it's the noise of Mama Lizo walking through the apartment in her annoying high heels. Maybe it's the sound of Mama Carol crunching on her stupid ice cubes.

Ironically, one of our downstairs neighbors is a drummer. He drums everyday and does Fred complain about this? Noooo, he does not.