Third Test

Wow, Fred really likes to test stuff.

Second test

Here's another test by Fred.

A test

Fred is testing this out to see if this will work.

Fred Wants to be a Bissell Boy

Curiouser and curiouser

Man Recovering After Being Shot by His Dog

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Published: November 24, 2008
Filed at 8:24 p.m. ET

PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) -- A man who was accidentally shot by a 12-gauge shotgun on Saturday after his dog jumped into a boat is recovering. Matthew Marcum's legs and buttocks were injured in the bizarre incident and he was taken to Legacy Emanuel Hospital & Health Center in Portland.

Marcum's father, Henry, said his 23-year-old son was about to tie up an 11-foot open aluminum boat, when his 3-year-old Labrador, Drake, jumped into the boat.

Matthew Marcum said his dog, Drake, is a good dog and he isn't upset with him.
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Dog Drives Van Into St. James Coffee Shop

I heard about this on News 12 this morning. I suspect that the dog could be my sister, Fanny. Fanny loves coffee. She loves apple martinis, too, but that's another post.

Mutts Rule

Fred is very excited by the prospect of a new dog in the White House this January. Like many others, he suggests that the Obama family consider a noble mutt. We make the best dogs!

Perhaps the Obamas could visit Fred's hometown of Pup Washington to make their selection!

Fred Says "Boo"

Last Saturday, our mamas made me and Fanny dress up in silly costumes and walk in the 2nd Annual Unleashed Halloween Pet Parade. Really, it should be called a Dog Parade. It's not as though any cats or gerbils participated.

Anyway, Fanny picked out an angel costume. I had trouble figuring out what I wanted to be, so Mama Lizo picked out this kinda dorky ladybug costume for me, complete with feelers that velcroed (TM) around my head. Mama Carol said, "That costume is a dress. It's for a girl," but Mama Lizo put it on me anyway.

We did have a slight problem. The costume was a bit big for me, so my wee wee ended up inside the costume. When I did my ceremonial pee-on-a-tree, the pee came out the front! I was so embarassed.

We didn't win any prizes, either. Mama Lizo says that if you have more than one dog, the key is to dress with a theme. You know, like one of us could be peanute butter and the other could be jelly. I call PB!

Killer Duboff

According to the terms of our contract, Fanny and I are entitled to at least three walks per day, sometimes more. We have, at minimum, the Morning Constitutional and Neighborhood Sniff, the Afternoon Pull 'n' Poo, and the Evening Stargazing Pee.

On Saturday, Mama Lizo agreed to take us for the early morning walk, mostly 'cause Mama Carol shamed her into it. As we ambled down the front stoop (which is on the side, but whatever), Fanny spied a tiny black froo froo dog in a sweater sniffing near our house.

She ran after the tiny dog.

According to the dog's owner, she bit the stupid little thing.

Mama Lizo was very apologetic and told the froo froo dog's froo froo owner to come see her if there are any vet bills. I tried to make friends with the little furry thing, but it bared its teeth at me.

Fred just wants to be friends.

Fred is Feeling Better

As many of you may know, I had an ear infection. I went to see Dr. Sheila and now I am feeling oh so much better!

Fred has a play mat

Umm, I know it's been a while.

I've been busy. I have a play mat now. My mommies got it for me at Home Depot.

I will post a picture once I figure out how to press the button with my paw.

Love,

Fred

Fred Hearts Snow

Ah, snow! Fred loves it. The feeling of snow under his sturdy paws, the sweet sensation of cool flakes falling on his little pink tongue and floppy ears....

For some reason, Mama Lizo doesn't seem to enjoy the snow as much as Fred does. Though it does make it easier to find and scoop up Fred's poo.

Time for Fred's hot chocolate!

Stay warm,

Freddyboy

Fred is Going Grassroots

If you know Fred, you know that Fred loves him some Oreo Cakesters. And baby carrots. And microwaved 94% fat free popcorn.

But mostly Oreo Cakesters, and that's what this new, grassroots movement is about. If you are a fan of the Oreo Cakester, Fred would like to encourage you to contact Nabisco and ask them to feed our habit with two new versions:

1) the vanilla cake / vanilla creme Cakester

2) the vanilla cake / chocolate creme Cakester.

Here is a link to Nabisco's FAQ and comment form.

Many thanks to Pascale for locating that vital information on the World Wide Woof.

I would send Nabisco a message right now, but my paws and mouth are full of cakey goodness.

Love and Cakesters,

Fred

Fred is Improving His Literacy Skills!

Fred is so excited to inform you that according to the Blog Readability Test, Fred's blog is written on a Junior High level.

Mama Lizo's blog is on a college (postgrad) level, but she's a nerd.

Love,

Fred

Fred is A-Okay

A concerned Fredfan wrote to my mommy to ask if I had been de-barked or something. She was worried because it has been so long since my last post.

I am fine, fredfans. I have just been busy with my many projects and activities, including high-fashion modeling, snowboarding, chewing my paws and napping.

I will try to write more in the future. Even when I don't, fredfans, please know that I am always thinking of you.

Woof,

Fred

PS: A few comments wouldn't hurt, either. Fred has feelings too, you know.

Fred is Feeling Harassed

Mama Lizo and Mama Carol have received several notes from our downstairs neighbors. Here is Mama Lizo's response. She has not shared it with them, but writing it made her feel much better.

------------------------------------------------
Dear Downstairs Neighbors,

Thank you for your constructive criticism.

As you know, we have attempted to address your concerns by carpeting our apartment and not wearing shoes while we are in our home. Based on your valuable input, we have decided to make some additional improvements, as follows.

The stairway, which is carpeted, is currently our only means of access in and out of our apartment. Apparently, the fact that we occassionally request access to the apartment that we pay to rent (Yes! We do indeed pay lots of rent!) is an issue for you. To address this concern, we plan to enter and exit via the windows instead. A contractor will be by shortly to install a system of pulleys and a large bucket for this purpose. We will of course contact you before entering or leaving to request permission. We will also speak with you before we cook, watch TV, shower, flush the toilet, open a drawer, turn on a light, or any other action that might disturb you.

We understand that the dogs make some noise when they enter and leave the apartment as well. Currently, we either leash the dogs upstairs or let them out unleashed and then harness them up outside. Apparently, neither option is working to your satisfaction. Effective immediately, we will instruct the dogs to relieve themselves in the apartment.

To address other concerns you have about the dogs (ie, occassional barking and tail wagging), we plan to have them de-barked and de-tailed. If the ASPCA complains, we will explain that we really had no choice in the matter.

We have also requested special permission from our employers to start work late and leave early so that we will not disturb you. We trust that our employers - a non-profit serving all public libraries in the County and a nationwide property management firm - will understand and grant this request. No more early-morning, late-night, or weekend meetings for us - thanks! We will also submit requests to you before scheduling our business trips.

In return, we expect that we will no longer be subjected to your loud, whiney voices (did you know that we can hear all of your conversations?), constant door-slamming, and furniture moving. Would you consider carpeting your ceiling to cut down on the noise? It might also help if you covered all of your walls in cork and communicated via American Sign Language. In addition, as we are having the dogs de-barked, we request that you have your baby's voice box removed so we will not have to hear her cry. Perhaps our vet can work out a 2 for 1 special.

Again, thank you for pointing out the errors of our ways. Before your last note, we had no idea that we had people living below us! We are also aware that you moved to Port Washington from Manhattan and we are sure that the high noise level here must be difficult for you to bear.

Sincerely,
Your Upstairs Neighbors : )

Fred Reviews Books

A certain head of reference gifted my mommies with a copy of Barkitecture. I must say that it looks awfully yummy - Fred loves to gnaw on coated stock.

It is also just the book for a stylish dog like Fred, the dog who yearns to lounge in a doghouse designed by Frank Lloyd Wright (really!) or The Muttropolitan Opera House. Did you know that Marie Antoinette had a sumptious niche a chien at Versailles? Just a hint, mommies!

Next on Fred's reading list: How to Raise a Jewish Dog.

Public Service Announcement from Newsday and Fred

SYOSSET: Free vaccinations for pets Saturday
BILL MASON
September 12, 2007

Nassau residents can get free rabies vaccinations for their pets Saturday at the Oyster Bay Animal Shelter in Syosset, the county Health Department said.The vaccinations for dogs, cats and ferrets are offered from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the shelter, 150 Miller Place, Syosset. The law requires dogs, cats and ferrets to be immunized against rabies.

"With 66 rabid raccoons found to date in Nassau County since 2004 ... it is more important than ever to immunize your pets," a department statement said.

For more information, go to the county Web site at www.nassaucountyny.gov/agencies/health/ or call 516-571-2290, or the state Health Department's site at www.health.state.ny.us/diseases/communicable/zoonoses/rabies or call 518-474-3186.

Copyright © 2007, Newsday Inc.

Fred Hearts Grandma

Grandma says that Fred is a yumptious dog.

It's Late for Fred to Be Up

Fred isn't usually up this late, but Mama Lizo had a big meeting tonight for work and he really wanted to say hey to her before she (and he) went to sleep. I love the way Mama Lizo spends time with me each evening, stroking my silky ears and calling me her Handsome Boy while we watch reruns of General Hospital or she reads to me.

Mama Carol thinks this is weird.

Zzzzz,

Fred