It's Good to Be the Dog

Umm, Fred would like 12 million dollars too, please.

Love,

Frederick Helmsley

The Many Names of Fred

Full Legal Name: Frederick Carter Duboff

Hebrew Name: Eitan Chaim ("strong" and "life")

Backwards Name to Which I Respond Anyway: Derf

Yiddish Name: Derfeleh

Bedroom Name: Mr. Cuddles

Royal Name: Maria Fredericka

Superhero Name: Captain Confused

Don't Ask: Princess Fred

Stripper Name: Candi